Member-only story
Holiday Family Time…Or Not
The Catholic guilt
The holidays can be a joyous time for many, but also a stressful time. In the past it has been a mix of both for me, this year though I feel the guilt.
For those who read my articles often, you know I have an estranged relationship with what little family I have left. My dad and grandparents all died when I was a kid, I was an only child. The only real family I had growing up was my Mother, who last year decided she fundamentally disliked who I am. We no longer speak.
Growing up I yearned for big holidays with family and chaos and all the things you see in movies that I never got. As an adult I haven’t gotten it either.
This year though, is the first year it will just be the kiddo, myself and my partner. Her family lives far and work schedules don’t permit us to travel. So it’s the 3 of us at home. This is the first year ever my Mother won’t be around. That is weird, it’s weird because she doesn’t want to be, and honestly I don’t want her to be.
While everyone waxed poetic on Thanksgiving about their family and parents and “home” for the first time I really felt alone. The one person I thought I could count on, well clearly I can’t. This year we found new things to be thankful for, the cat, the gecko, our found family.
