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It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
Words I need to remind myself of today
Bit and I had an amazing holiday adventure abroad. It filled both our hearts with joy and hope, it was what we both needed desperately. When we got back we went to camp for their holiday gathering, camp is our favorite place ever, it makes everything feel better.
Then we returned home. Reality follows us everywhere, always, but on holiday it seems easier to deal with. Then when coming home and having the reality of doctors, and insurance companies, infusions and glucose testing, it just hits harder.
We’re both not okay today, and that is okay. I need to keep reminding myself of this though, because as we approach the next big holiday, it’s okay if we miss out and do not do all the things. It is okay if we’re tired and want to stay home under a pile of blankets watching movies with the cat. It is okay if we have days at the hospital, or days when the nurses come to us. It’s okay to be sad, or mad, or any other feeling about these things.
Today we spent the day visiting the ER after talking to her hematologist. Bit woke up after 13 hours of sleep, feeling unwell, very congested and coughing up green ick. We were supposed to infuse (IVIG) today, but I was unsure, so I called her doctor. Nope, no infusion and proceed to the ER, do not pass Go! Do not collect $200.
